if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
