My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
