I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Farmville is her only friend.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
