He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
