Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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