I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
