I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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