I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My bed smells like the plague
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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