butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize