Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
not ubering you a puppy
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
