How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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