he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
