i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
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