i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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