I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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