i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
