so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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