I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
