No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
