yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
