eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
