good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
