forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
