My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Randomize
