Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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