I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
