That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
