So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
