we're blogging at a bar
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize