my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
