Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
