mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
