does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize