I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
