I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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