There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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