Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
