i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
