The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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