There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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