I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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