Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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