nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
