I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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