so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize