You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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