i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
