so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
