Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
