whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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