We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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