I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
