A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
