Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
