i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
