You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Randomize
