Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I think a kid would responsible me up
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
