I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
