"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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