So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
