how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
