Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
